My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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