so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
