This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
