Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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