I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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