What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
