we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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