I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
