so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
