The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
