I can't breathe out the right side of my face
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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