garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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