Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
