hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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