Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
