they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
