I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize