I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
