I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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