More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
