Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
