you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize