watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
