Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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