he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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