How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
