just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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