In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
