my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
