:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
