just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
