Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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