Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Drunk is not a location!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
