Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
