We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize