"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
