My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize