i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
