This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
