I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
