Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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