Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
