He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
