That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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