Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
