you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
