he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
