CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
