you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
