I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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