why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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