i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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