She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
