The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize