I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
