Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have already put on my inside pants.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
