Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
