I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
