I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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