She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize