it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
