Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
