I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
