***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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