All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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