Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
