I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
