the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
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he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
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I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.