Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?