Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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