Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
