in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
